just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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