And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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