she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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