I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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