...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
