totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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