I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
