i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
