I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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