i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
