Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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