I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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