As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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