When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
