I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
