All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
