That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
please don't ironically join a cult
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
