So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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