Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
