ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
