i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
should my penis look like a turkey
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize