Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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