he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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