Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
