You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
