I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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