the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
