11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just want to make out with him forever
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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