Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
