Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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