Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
