Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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