Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
