found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
