I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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