It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
