oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
