My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
