I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
