Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
