**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Blood and glitter go together right?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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