This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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