We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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