Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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