She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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