was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
