i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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