Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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