you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
