I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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