so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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