I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want a musical about memes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
