i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
