Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You need a sexual gate keeper
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
