someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
