Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
pray to the hookup gods
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
