I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
