i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
