i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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